Good things and Bad things

Ever wonder about the good things in your life? Ever wonder about the bad things in your life? I do all the time. Lets see if we can make a list...
Good things... My boyfriend - more Amazing than good. My family. My friends. I'm alive.
Bad things... No car. No degree. No job. Cant go to school. Fuck up for life. My health

So I'm kind of even if you look at it. Well actually there is more in the bad things then the good things but some of those good things make up for the bad things. My boyfriend for one definitely makes up for a lot of the bad. Lets talk about him for a minute.

Stephen - I couldn't have asked for someone better in my life to come along. His eyes. His kisses. His smile. I'm so hoping that these butterflies never go away. I love it. Every time I'm around him I can't help but blush and just stare at him. I'm afraid if I take my eyes off of him for one second that he is going to disappear and this dream is going to end. There is such a deep connection with him that I can't even describe. How does one person fit with you so perfectly and you haven't found them until now? Wow... Did that even make any sense? I have no clue. But I don't really care. Not anymore. Now that I have him I don't really care what anyone else thinks or says. He makes me free. This feels so right. This has to be right. If it isn't right then I'm done for if it ever ends. My heart will truly stop beating. I have opened myself too wide for this not to be right. Everything I hear n the radio reminds me of him. Everything I see other couples doing reminds me of him and I and I haven't even spent that much time with him to be able to go out and do whatever. He picked me up on Friday and we went back to his house for dinner. He made me dinner. He is so wonderful. But as we drove back. We just talked and I listened to his little stories about whatever the topic of conversation was and the topic would switch and held hands in the car and he ran his thumb up and down my hand or up and down one spot on my leg. I was in heaven. Dinner was wonderful. He were in his room for awhile and just kissing and talking and giggling and a little playing, but nothing serious. He was a gentleman. Hhis hands stayed on the small of my back or on the sides of my face unless I made the move to have him move his hands. He didn't want to push it and it made me feel so special to have someone not treat me like a piece of meat and not look at me as if I was just a piece of ass. It was nice. We curled up and watched a movie and then back to the bedroom where more kissing and rolling around took place. We both teased but left it at that. Not wanting to rush things. Don;t want to rush things to make it into a relationship that is based off of sex. GOD THAT IS SO FUCKING NICE!!!!!!! I mean when does a girl finally find a guy like that? It took me 25 years. I'm so glad I found him.

The bad things in my life? They are difficult to deal with. More than I can even imagine. But from a conversation i had with Steve last night. I have people to support me and be there for me when i do need to ask for help. So I'm trying to not let the bad things bother me all that much. I'm hoping that I can get past them. I'll figure it out all in due time. It just may take a little bit of time to do that. So all in all... I guess I really don't have that much bad in my life. If they are things I can get past. Then they aren't bad. They are just stepping stones to my future. A wonderful future with the man of my dreams.

So I guess when it comes down to it. He is the one for me to thank for all of this. He opened my eyes wide enough for me to be able to see what i need to see. I love you baby. More than you could ever possibly know. MUAH!! Together Forever ~ <3>